In retrospect, “Land of the Lost” was probably an unwise investment. Made for somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 million, this Brad Silberling directed adaptation of Sid & Marty Kroft’s 1970s Saturday morning adventure series saw a four-quadrant bullseye in appealing to Gen X-er nostalgia, which, presumably, they’d share with their Zoomer children at their neighborhood multiplex. Given the campy nature of the original show, Silberling and the credited screenwriting duo of Chris Henchy and Dennis McNicholas pitched the film as a zany spoof of its source material, hiring a formidable comedic quartet in Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, Jorma Taccone, and Anna Friel (as an incredibly game straight-woman) to, hopefully, deliver loads of yuks as they flee Sleestaks and giant prehistoric beasts.
The film topped out at $69 million during the summer of 2009, which is either a massive commercial disappointment or a bomb depending on your threshold for hyperbole. Regardless of what you call it, that number was anything but nice, which is why we haven’t seen Taccone suit up as the furry, possibly psychotic Chaka again over the last 15 years.
This is a cinematic tragedy. “Land of the Lost” may not work at all as an adventure, but that’s kind of the point. Watching Chaka repeatedly trying to get Ferrell’s overconfident Dr. Rick Marshall killed is a thrill in its own spectacularly silly right. Or what about Ferrell and McBride (always a killer team), as theme park owner Will Stanton, doing an autotune duet to Cher’s “Believe” via some ancient crystal?
“Land of the Lost” doesn’t make a great deal of sense, nor should it. It’s an excuse to subvert a corny childhood favorite with silly, inappropriate gags that skirt the edge of an R-rating. Obviously, this wasn’t an enticing formula for moviegoers, and that’s their loss. They missed out on some huge laughs, particularly those evoked during the sequence where Rick, Will, and Chaka find themselves unexpectedly feasting on giant crab legs (all of which, unsurprisingly, was improvised).
Inspired improvisation in the magic hour light
The scene in question starts with the trio of dorks stumbling upon a deserted desert motel. Starved, they mow down on some mysterious fruit that possesses psychotropic qualities, which leads to a gloriously out-there scene in the establishment’s pool.
Finally, the trio end up basically immobilized outside in the desert, at which point a giant crab begins to rush at them. It’s not looking good for the boys until the crab is sucked underwater and spit out in pieces onto the sand in front of them. Cut to the now mobile Rick, Will and Chaka eating the crab’s legs, replete with a giant wedge of lemon.
What ensues was, for Silberling, an uninhibited joy. As the director told SyFy:
“We’re like, ‘OK, let’s take it to the next step, what happens if the crab ends up being boiled? These guys are wasted anyway, so let’s build the giant lemon wedge.’ That whole sequence where they’re eating that and tripping balls [was] all completely improvised, which is why the camera moves in, but never cuts away. We timed it for the perfect moment at magic hour and so, there was this certain degree of risk to it. But oh my God, those guys kill me.”
The scene devolves into Rick, having buried the hatchet with Chaka (who, again, has spent most of the movie imperiling him), pledging to tongue kiss his new buddy. It sounds ridiculous, and it is ridiculous. I hesitate to call it “genius,” but it is inexplicably hilarious, as is the rest of “Land of the Lost.”
Do we need a “Land of the Lost 2?” We didn’t need “Land of the Lost.” But now that it exists I want more, and it hurts something fierce to know we’ll never, ever get it.
